Divorce is the end of a marriage, and it’s very common for people to only think about that ending in a negative light. They only focus on something they’re losing and have a lot of grief to process.
But divorce is also a beginning. It’s a new relationship with your children, a new living situation and a new sense of freedom as you go out on your own. These are all beginnings, and you can absolutely find many positive sides to a marital split.
Examining your focus
It’s important to focus on these upsides and on what really matters. Some recommend actively thinking about the stable areas in your life or making lists of things you’re thankful for. It may feel like you’re forcing this focus at first, but it can become natural.
Parents often struggle after divorce because they feel separated from their kids. This can be hard, but use that time to do things that you love. Read more books. Hit the gym. Reconnect with friends. You’ll still have time with the children, so use the time when they’re with your ex to focus on yourself.
Don’t run from your emotions
If you find yourself feeling sad or negative, don’t try to run from it or just swallow it. Allow yourself to feel that way. It’s natural. Allowing it to happen lets the emotions run their course so that you can move through them, rather than just putting it off for another day.
One other thing that may help is using a conflict-free method of divorce. Consider your options carefully to see what is right for you.