Spouses pursuing a peaceful or collaborative divorce need to limit their emotional reactions to one another. Prioritizing healthy communication is a key component of a successful, cooperative divorce. It is normal for emotions to flare throughout divorce proceedings and for spouses to find themselves fighting over matters that they could otherwise resolve calmly.
Having rules in place to govern communication throughout the divorce process can limit the escalation of conflicts and help spouses keep things as amicable as possible. Spouses may need to have practical conversations about their assets or shared children. Each interaction is an opportunity for conflict that could derail attempts at a collaborative or amicable divorce.
What communication solutions often work for those hoping to pursue a collaborative divorce or mediate their divorce disputes?
Communication through representation
Once both spouses have lawyers, they theoretically do not need to communicate directly with one another at all. They can instead have all messages and attempts at negotiation pass through their lawyers.
When everything filters through the spouses’ legal representation, emotional reactions and superfluous details tend to get left behind in favor of precise, solution-oriented communication. For those simply ironing out the final details of the financial aspects of divorce, this solution is often viable. Direct communication may be necessary during mediation, if it occurs, but most other communication can occur through the spouses’ attorneys.
Communication in writing
When there are minor children in the family, direct communication is likely necessary. Parents who share custody have to talk about traffic delays, illnesses and a variety of other challenges to function as effective co-parents.
Frequently, those adjusting to shared custody use co-parenting apps. By exchanging all communication and writing, parents can keep things calm and maintain a thorough record of everything they say to one another.
Even if parents decide not to use a specialized app, they may benefit from agreeing to communicate in writing via a specific platform for all matters related to their children. Effective and peaceful communication can pave the way to a cooperative divorce.
Learning from the mistakes that others make and keeping the focus on long-term happiness and recovery rather than on short-term vindication can be beneficial for those who want to avoid a contentious divorce. Proper communication is key for those preparing for divorce mediation and hoping to pursue a controlled, amicable divorce process.