Some couples want to get divorced for years or even decades, but they decide to stay together until their children have grown up. The reason they often give is that they believe divorce will have a negative impact on the children. Therefore, they remain in an unhappy marriage.
It is true that divorce can have a major impact on children. They may have many questions about where they are going to live or which parent will take care of them. If parents aren’t prepared to answer those questions, this can cause anxiety for a child.
The idea that divorce is always negative is a common myth. In fact, there are situations in which divorce can be beneficial for both parents and children.
High-conflict relationships
For example, some couples are in high-conflict relationships. They often argue or don’t speak to one another. Children may feel stressed living in a home with parents who do not get along. They could be exposed to frequent verbal disagreements and may be well aware that their parents are unhappy.
In situations like this, even though divorce is still a significant change, it can actually improve the child’s living situation. Both parents may be happier on their own, which can give them a greater ability to focus on being good parents. Reducing the level of stress and conflict in the home can be beneficial for everyone involved.
That said, getting divorced with children does make things more complicated, as parents must decide on physical and legal custody rights. If divorcing parents are able to have a mediated divorce, they can further reduce stress for their children. Even spouses in high-conflict marriages can potentially use mediation, as we’ve discussed here in the past. It’s wise to learn more about it if you’re considering a mediated divorce.