Divorcing and separating parents may find that they disagree about various parenting matters. If they litigate their disputes, the conflict may worsen their relationship and cause stress for their children.
Mediation can be a way to settle disputes while shielding the children from conflict. Parents can work cooperatively to set terms for their co-parenting relationship. Typically, the focus during custody mediation is on how to split parenting time and the authority to make decisions about the children. However, parents can prevent future conflict by establishing more rules and guidelines in their parenting plan than just the bare minimum.
What secondary issues are often beneficial for parents to address during custody mediation?
1. Technology standards
The use of technology is frequently a source of conflict between co-parents. They may disagree about how much screen time is acceptable at different ages. They may disagree about what devices their children should have access to and what age is appropriate for joining social media. Parents can discuss technology matters in mediation and create a series of rules that evolve as the children age.
2. Expectations for home and school
Consistency is critical for children. When both parents have similar expectations for children in a shared custody scenario, it is easier for children to confidently meet those expectations. Parents may want to discuss their standards for academic performance and household contributions. They can even make arrangements so that the children perform the same age-appropriate household chores at both residences. Maintaining the same expectations and rules at both households can limit confusion and opportunities for co-parenting conflict.
3. Disciplinary practices
Inevitably, children sometimes fail to meet certain expectations or overtly violate family rules. Such conduct is particularly common as teenagers and tweens adjust to changes in their living circumstances. Parents may want to establish the same standards for discipline, as well as rules for communicating current disciplinary matters to one another. That way, children know that enforcement is consistent at both homes and are less likely to create conflict by playing the parents against one another.
Making the most of custody mediation by creating a thorough parenting plan can help co-parents limit opportunities for conflict in the future. The more issues parents address in advance, the easier it can be to navigate challenging issues as they arise.