Increasingly, couples are choosing to pursue mediated divorce rather than a litigation. It’s not for everyone, however. Couples need to determine the right option for them based on the current state of their relationship as well as how they’ve interacted during their marriage.
Using mediation to arrive at the terms of a divorce has its pros and cons. The following are just a few of each worth considering if you’re preparing for divorce.
Potential advantages of mediation
A big advantage for many couples is that a mediated divorce is typically less costly and time-consuming than one that is done through the courts. Although a judge must sign off on the final decree, the property division, child custody and any support agreements are worked out by the couple themselves, with the guidance of a trained and impartial mediator. They can each have separate legal and other professional representation, which can help to personalize the process and protect everyone’s rights.
A mediated divorce can help spouses remain amicable because they’re essentially on the same side of ending their marriage on terms that are fair to both of them. This can be especially important for those whose relationship as co-parents needs to continue. It can also be beneficial for couples who are in business together or have social and family connections that will continue after the divorce.
Privacy is another advantage of mediated divorce. Since the proceedings aren’t carried out in court and there are fewer court filings, spouses who don’t want the details of their divorce (or marriage) to become public can benefit from the privacy that mediation provides.
Potential disadvantages of mediation
On the other hand, a mediated divorce can be highly unfair if one spouse has a history of any kind of abuse toward the other. Even if there hasn’t been abuse, if one spouse has always been the dominant one in the relationship, the other may have a difficult time standing up for themselves in mediation.
Mediation requires more work for divorcing spouses than a litigated divorce where each side’s legal team takes on the brunt of the negotiations and finalization of the agreements. That means spending considerable time working together. That may put one spouse at an advantage depending on their profession and experience – or cause them to butt heads throughout the process.
Each couple is highly unique. However, an experienced mediator should be able to tell you whether you’re good candidates for mediation as long as you’re honest with them. Finding an experienced mediator whom you both trust is a good first step if you’re considering mediation.