The winter holidays are all about family and togetherness – and that can be rough when your family unit is broken.
Should you and your co-parent try to keep the old holiday traditions alive and celebrate as a family for the sake of the kids, or should you just create new, independent traditions? There’s no “one-size-fits-all” answer to this question but shared holidays after separation or divorce can be a positive experience. Here’s why:
It can create a sense of stability for your children
The holidays are a big source of continuity for most children, and those small family traditions – like new matching pajamas on Christmas Eve or making the annual tour of the neighborhood to look at decorations – can be important to their emotional stability. When separated or divorced parents come together to keep family traditions alive, they can silently communicate their commitment to their children’s happiness and emotional well-being.
It models positive conflict resolution and cooperation
When co-parents set aside their differences during the holidays, they are quietly teaching their children valuable lessons about cooperation, empathy and healthy conflict resolution. Co-parents who demonstrate mutual respect and appreciation for each other’s roles in their children’s lives help show their children that relationships can remain positive and healthy even when they change.
It helps reduce loneliness and stress
Sharing the holidays can also help parents share the load – particularly when it comes to expenses. By pooling their resources and agreeing to both be present when the kids open their gifts or do other “family” activities together, neither parent has to feel lonely or left out if it’s not “their” holiday or time with the kids. This can help both parents feel happier and set the tone for healing.
A good parenting plan can address a lot of potential co-parenting issues – and you need one. However, it’s also important to think outside the box (and off the script) during special occasions.