Hollywood would have us believe divorces must be messy, expensive and contentious. Children get caught between two battling parents attempting to one-up each other in their fight for custody.
In real life, divorce doesn’t have to be that way.
Removing the conflict
When parents divorce, children can experience a wide range of emotions, including confusion, sadness and anxiety. Furthermore, a young child typically is self-focused and sees the world only from their viewpoint. When they sense animosity between their parents, children often believe they are the cause of the problem.
Parents and mediators can help mitigate these negative impacts by prioritizing the child’s emotional health. A child-centered approach to divorce mediation ensures that decisions are made in the child’s best interest, providing them with the stability and support they need during this transitional period.
To focus on the child’s needs, a mediator will likely do the following:
- Help parents facilitate open communication by creating a space where parents can express their concerns and reach an agreement that genuinely reflects the child’s needs.
- Guide them in developing a parenting plan that provides structure and consistency for the child.
- Encourage cooperative co-parenting, which means putting aside personal grievances and working together as a team.
To make child-centered mediation work, parents must:
- Prioritize their child’s emotional safety and consider how words and actions may affect them.
- Maintain consistency in routines and rules across both households.
- Attend school events, communicate regularly with their child and show interest in their activities.
A child-centered approach can help children more seamlessly adjust to their new family dynamics. They are more likely to feel secure and supported, knowing that both parents are committed to their well-being. When children feel connected to both of their parents, they tend to do better academically and socially. A child-centered approach can also help parents navigate mediation with better understanding and ease.