Children are a big part of any divorce, and as a parent, you may be lost for words when it comes to delivering the news to them. In addition, they may not understand all that is happening, so you need to choose your words carefully.
While you should craft your message according to your children’s age, you need not let them in on everything good and bad. But, at the same time, do not lie to them.
What should you tell them?
It may be difficult for you to mask some feelings, but you need to protect your children from any negative energy. If they can understand, explain that you and your co-parent will no longer be staying together. This will prepare them mentally for upcoming changes.
Additionally, make it clear that they are not the cause of your separation and assure them that everything will be alright. Children need a sense of security and stability, and you should reiterate that you will still be a family.
What not to say
Avoid anything that paints your ex in a bad light or portrays them negatively to the kids. Remember, your kids still look up to the other parent. Do not detail what led to the divorce or what stage it is at. If anything, keep off discussing the divorce itself and focus on reassuring your children that better days lie ahead.
Cooperate with your co-parent
You don’t want to tell your kids this, only for your spouse to say something else. It might breed distrust and even affect the children years on. Instead, cooperate with your co-parent, and if you have any issues, you need to find ways of resolving them. If you do not see eye to eye, consider having a mediator help you resolve your differences.