With a traditional divorce, you and your spouse go to court and a judge makes the crucial decisions. How will you divide your assets? Who gets to live with the kids the majority of the time? When is your divorce going to be finalized? These are all major issues for you, and it can be hard to see a judge have control over them.
In fact, psychologists note that it’s very common for people to be afraid of losing control. We want our lives to work out a certain way, and we don’t like to see someone else make those choices for us. If you’re nervous about your divorce, you may be more nervous about that loss of control than the loss of your marriage.
One way to get that control back is by using mediation instead of a traditional divorce. With mediation, you and your spouse get to spend time together, with an official mediator, making your own decisions. You can calmly and respectfully discuss what you want and what is best for both of you. The mediator can help guide you through the decisions and the legal process, but they don’t make any rulings or decisions. Those are all up to you.
Don’t make the mistake of assuming that a divorce has to look like what you’ve seen on TV or what a friend has gone through. It doesn’t. There are many options and potential tactics. Make sure you know what they are and what choices you have.